2 AM.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”-Isaiah 40:31


I wish I could tell you that I’m great with relationships.

But that would be a lie.

I have chosen to put myself in some horrific situations. Situations I would never wish anyone to be in. I did this all because I desperately sought out love (and I still do).

I remember laying in a bed at 2 am with a person laying beside me who I had come to despise. 

& all I could think is how could this be it? How has my life become this? Why have I chosen to let this relationship ruin my life? 

So the next morning I ended it. I was free. It hurt and felt amazing all at the same time.

I’d also like to tell you that it was the last time I put myself in a bad situation…

But that’d be a lie.

Most of my life has been that way. Broken relationship after broken relationship. Relationships that I chose. 

I did not find the man of my dreams in high school. I did not find him in college. I didn’t find him right out college. I didn’t find him at church. I didn’t find him organically. 

I have not settled down and gotten married and had kids yet. 

I chose a different (dare I say, more crazy) route.

& THAT IS OKAY. 

Because Jesus.

He loves me despite my horrible choices. He picks me up and dusts me off every time I falter. He reminds me that the only relationship that will ever define me is the one I have with Him.

For someone who once laid awake in that bed at 2 am, this statement changes everything. 

The past has no control over me, because I am too busy thinking about my future. 

The Healer of all has chosen to have a relationship with me. One that will never leave me heartbroken. 

Thank you God for loving this incredible mess of a person I am and giving me more chances than I deserve.

-Kristin-

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