I read the actual book a while back and it was a reminder to me that our words and actions, no matter how meaningless to us, mean something to others. & how FINAL suicide is. You don’t get to come back. There is no sequel to our lives.
Unfortunately since reading the book, I forgot about that.
I hit some serious bumps in the road a few years later and frankly, I’m lucky to be alive today. I’m lucky I never went as far to cross the line you can’t come back from. *Thank you Jesus.*
At my lowest, I remember going to someone’s house that I was pet sitting for. I went in the middle of the day when I figured no one would be around. I sat in the middle of her kitchen floor and hyperventilated crying. I just wanted to be alone because I knew no one could ever understand the pain I was feeling. Her family members unexpectedly came over to get something and found me. They asked me what was wrong and the only thing I could say over my literal screaming tears was “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
Like I couldn’t do life anymore. Like the pain was beyond what I could handle. Like I just wanted to cross that dangerous line.
If I had crossed that line I would have missed out on the BEST parts of my life. *Thank you Jesus for your intervention.*
I have 14 huge, amazing, wonderful Reasons Why I’m so happy to be alive today despite everything that I was up against. 14 Reasons I would have missed if I had chosen to leave this world:
1. I got to meet Jesus. In the most innocent and incredible of ways.
2. I have a relationship with my Dad again.
3. I found out who I am and am learning to accept it.
4. I finally met the guy who loves me for who I am.
5. I have my dream job that I worked so hard for.
6. I met people who make me happy to come to work.
7. I bought my dream house.
8. I reconnected with people I was estranged from.
9. I learned to stand up for myself and for others.
10. I became a fur mom.
11. I reached the goals I made for myself.
12. I found peace with my past.
13. I finally found a diet that works for me.
14. I’m getting to live the life I’ve always wanted to live.
Life is so good. Even when it doesn’t seem like it.
Choose to live. Speak out if you need help. Love yourself enough to ask.
& write down the 14 Reasons Why you don’t want to miss out on your future.