Dear Sarah.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”-John 13:34-35

sarah

Dear Sarah,

When teenage suicide gets brought up you always pop into my head.

Because at the young age of 13 you chose to take your life in order to escape the incredible pain you had carried with you for so many years.

But the thing is, I do not only think about you when this devastating topic comes up.

I think of you at every graduation that you will never be able to be a part of.

I think of you at every wedding I attend that you will never get to have.

I think of you at every life milestone that you will never get to experience for yourself.

I think of you every time I see a giddy teen getting their braces off.

I think of you every single time I see teen girls laughing and smiling with their friends.

I think about the person you would have been today.

I wish you were here. I wish you did not have to go to Heaven so early. I wish you could have seen the light at the end of the dark tunnel. I wish I had known.

After 25 years on this earth, I have experienced that same edge of the world feeling. That end of the rope feeling.

I have been at the line you crossed.

& I thank God that I never crossed it, because I would have also missed out on all the pain, beauty, and joys that life has to offer.

Sarah, my beautiful friend, you are so missed.

You are so loved, and I am sorry we all did not tell you that before you decided to go.

I pray that your memory serves as a reminder to others that life is worth it even in our deepest, darkest moments.

I will forever fight for life in honor of you.

-Kristin

 

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