“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11
I feel like most of my life I’ve had things planned out.
I would grow up and graduate high school. Go to college and get a fancy degree. Maybe find a nice guy while I was there (or possibly still be with my high school sweetheart) and marry him. Start working at a good paying job. My husband and I buy a house together in the suburbs by the time I was 23. Then we would start having kids and I would stay home and be a mom.
I’m 25 right now. Pretty much none of these ideas of how my life would be have worked out as I had “planned”.
I just graduated with a masters degree. I never married my high school sweetheart. My job is awesome and pays the bills but it doesn’t pay very well. I JUST bought my first home. By MYSELF. I’m not a mother and don’t want to be for a long time (or maybe ever). I don’t even think I would want to be a stay at home mom now either.
Seriously, nothing has worked out as planned.
The problem is that those plans were centered around what society and others had put upon me.
That I needed to be married by this time. That I needed to be ready to have children. That I needed to be more focused on “doing things the way I was supposed to” then the way that felt right for me.
God is amazing though. He loves me even when I let my own self down. He loves me even though my life is so different than others. He loves the things about me that others despise.
I’ve come to the realization that just because I don’t have the cookie cutter, you-will-accomplish-this-by-a-certain age, “If you ain’t got two kids by 21, You’re probably gonna die alone” mindset, does not mean that I have to feel like a loser.
& more than anything, that others opinions and judgments about me need to have no weight on how I feel about myself. My conversations with the big man upstairs are what should matter.
Here’s to being a 25 year old, unmarried, Christian, home owning, teaching, imperfect sinner of a woman who is thankful for a God to loves her no matter what.