Zuhause.

“As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”-Joshua 24:15


Home.

On April 21st of this year I became a first time homeowner. This happened exactly 3 years to the date after I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart. I happen to know that this was not just a coincidence. 

As a single, 25 year old, woman, teacher I knew the odds were against me. I chose not to tell anyone really during the process because I didn’t want the judgments. I also didn’t want anyone’s advice or opinions (my family members’ were stressful enough). I didn’t want to explain the heartbreak of falling in love with houses that didn’t work. I’m pretty sure I haven’t had a good nights sleep since I started looking in February!

When I began the process, I prayed a very risky prayer for me. I asked every day for the houses that were not meant for me (even when I loved them deeply) to slip away from me and for the one that was meant for me to come along and for everything to go through with it. It was difficult to pray because I knew heartbreak was going to be involved, but I also knew that He would provide the right place for me.

God had His fingerprints all over this. 

Seriously, this was not of my doing.

There was no reason in the world why this house came back on the market in the wake of letting go another house that I was convinced would have worked (Praise God it didn’t).

I cannot explain how this was the only house I walked in that I could feel Jesus’s love in.

It’s crazy that one of my best friends knew the owners, had been to this house multiple times and confirmed how love lived here.

It blows my mind how the inspection, appraisal, and everything with the mortgage came back fine and we were able to close within less than 30 days.

Then on top of it all, my closing date was moved up a week to the three year anniversary of me and Jesus becoming one. Like for real?!

I needed a reminder more than ever that God loves me and will always provide. He sent me all the people I needed to make this happen. He sent me an awesome realtor, mortgage broker, and sellers who love Him as I do. He promised me He’d never leave me hanging.

He did as promised. 

-Kristin-

Cookie Cutter.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11

 

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I feel like most of my life I’ve had things planned out.

 

I would grow up and graduate high school. Go to college and get a fancy degree. Maybe find a nice guy while I was there (or possibly still be with my high school sweetheart) and marry him. Start working at a good paying job. My husband and I buy a house together in the suburbs by the time I was 23. Then we would start having kids and I would stay home and be a mom.

 

I’m 25 right now. Pretty much none of these ideas of how my life would be have worked out as I had “planned”.

 

I just graduated with a masters degree. I never married my high school sweetheart. My job is awesome and pays the bills but it doesn’t pay very well. I JUST bought my first home. By MYSELF. I’m not a mother and don’t want to be for a long time (or maybe ever). I don’t even think I would want to be a stay at home mom now either.

 

Seriously, nothing has worked out as planned.

 

The problem is that those plans were centered around what society and others had put upon me.

 

That I needed to be married by this time. That I needed to be ready to have children. That I needed to be more focused on “doing things the way I was supposed to” then the way that felt right for me.

 

God is amazing though. He loves me even when I let my own self down. He loves me even though my life is so different than others. He loves the things about me that others despise.

 

I’ve come to the realization that just because I don’t have the cookie cutter, you-will-accomplish-this-by-a-certain age, “If you ain’t got two kids by 21, You’re probably gonna die alone” mindset, does not mean that I have to feel like a loser.

 

& more than anything, that others opinions and judgments about me need to have no weight on how I feel about myself. My conversations with the big man upstairs are what should matter.

 

Here’s to being a 25 year old, unmarried, Christian, home owning, teaching, imperfect sinner of a woman who is thankful for a God to loves her no matter what.

 

-Kristin-

Ye of Little Faith.

“He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.”-Matthew 8:26

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I have come to the unfortunate realization that when I fear things in life, it comes from a root of faithlessness in God.  & that is heartbreaking.

When I freak out about something that is beyond my control, I am in a way saying that I do not believe that God will take care of my needs.

Why don’t I trust Him?

Why do I panic so much when He has promised me that He will take care of my needs?

Why is it so dang hard sometimes to trust?

I have been going through a time where I need to lean on and trust God more than ever. For a while, I was saying (and truly meaning), “If it is meant to be God will make a way. No matter what happens, if it is meant to be, there is nothing that can separate me from this.  If it is not meant to be, it would never work out anyway.”

But then, hurdles came. I found it harder to say that and almost found it easier to panic than to trust.

Being totally honest, I am a serious mess who has trouble with faith and trust sometimes.

I need some Jesus time (and Peace & Calming).

What do you do to work on your trust and faith in God during hard times?

-Kristin

War Room.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything in His will, He hears us.”-1 John 5:14

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Have you seen War Room yet?

Because if you haven’t, you’re seriously missing out. Go rent it now!

In the movie, we find out that this older woman created a prayer room and spent much of her life in there praying. Praying for other people, praying for herself, etc.

She called it her “war room” because all of her battles were fought kneeling and praying to God in that room. Incredible stuff right?

So I convinced myself afterward that I would make a prayer room for myself.

& guess what…I never did.

Until recently when I saw one of the main stars, Priscilla Shirer, in person for a conference and was reminded of the incredible power that comes from being alone in the presence of God and praying to Him.

So I came home and turned a corner of my closet into a war room.  I put up the names of people who needed prayer. I put up things that I knew I wanted/needed.  I pray over them every night and it has been miraculous what God has done since I got serious about my prayer life.

I see him working MIRACLES. Truly miracles.  Things I cannot explain that seem to come out of thin air.  What a beautiful thing it is.

When I am praying for God’s will over these things, I am not necessarily getting what I want.  I am praying for what is needed and what God wants (because 100% of the time, whether I like to admit it or not, His plans are greater than the plans I have made).  But He is making miracles out of nothing. & He is hearing my cries.   *Just because we do not get what we want, does not mean He does not hear us.

It is getting to a point where my prayer post-its are having to be moved to a different wall because God has done His work with them. How crazy is that?!

 

I recently read something about how God is like a banker.  When you go to a banker, they expect to do business with you. God is the same way. He expects to do business with us.  To Him, our prayer time is not supposed to be full of empty words. He wants us to speak our minds and really talk to Him!

Do you need to make a war room?

In your closet. Or in the corner of your bedroom before the kids get up. Or in a room away from everyone else.

It doesn’t matter where it might be…as long as you do it. 🙂

Pray on y’all!

-Kristin-

 

 

 

Hallelujah.

“He is not here, He has Risen! Remember how He told you, while He was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.'”-Luke 24:6-7

I get chills as I write this because it is unbelievable what Jesus did for us. He knew most of us would never never accept or love him, He knew we did not deserve this, but He loved us so much that He did it anyway.

Halfway across the world, two thousand years ago, Jesus was beaten, tortured, and bruised for us when He was of no fault.  He was forced to carry His cross to Calvary and was nailed to it while donning a crown of thick thorns on His head.  HE DID IT FOR US. FOR YOU. FOR ME. FOR ALL OF US. The criminals, the perfectionists, the liars, the hypocrites. All of us.

As we approach next Friday (Good Friday) and next Sunday (Easter), I cannot help but remember to think about the greatest love story ever written.  The one where God gives His only Son to come down to earth and die a torturous death for our sins.  The one where He is nailed to a cross between two thieves and tells the one “Today you will be with me in Paradise” (Luke 23:43) and cries out to God about his persecutors saying “Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34).  Then LITERALLY rising from the dead three days later and ascending to Heaven.  He is and was the real deal.

I am excited for the day when my weary hand is held by his perfect, nail scarred hand.

Hallelujah!

-Kristin-

 

 

Greater.

“You are from God, little children, and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”-1 John 4:4

Spiritual warfare.

It is the realest of deals.

It is terrifying and crazy.  I swear the moment I accepted Jesus, I was totally under attack.  Panic attacks. Pain. Conflicts about things that did not matter.  Serious heartbreak.  Feeling torn away from God. ALL things I had never experienced before and I was pretty freaked out.

The weeks leading up to my baptism were like literal Hell on earth. Everything felt like it was tearing me apart and it was hard to hold on.

Ever been there? You get excited about moving onto this next stage with Jesus and its like all hell breaks loose?

I get it.

& I thought it would end, but truly, it never does.

The ONLY way to fight it off is to totally, completely, wholeheartedly focus on God.  To meditate on His word daily.  To not submit to the lies of the enemy.  To lean on God and others who will lead us down the right path.  To remind the wicked one every single day of WHO he is and WHAT his future is.  

Are you ready for this battle?

Actually…are you ready for Him to FIGHT FOR YOU?

God will fight our battles. If we let Him into our hearts. The spiritual warfare may never end, but neither does His love for us.

If you are feeling downtrodden today and feeling like the wicked one is wrecking your life, remind yourself of whom you belong to.  You need but be still, He’s got you.

-Kristin-