“For nothing will be impossible with God.”-Luke 1:37
I am in my third year of teaching elementary school. It has been nothing short of absolute insanity. It has also challenged my faith, made me see the world differently, and caused me to see the beauty in everything. I have never cried so much over someone else’s child. Or spent as much time awake at night thinking of how to help them. I can never forget the way it feels to help someone learn a basic they will use for the rest of their lives.
But there came a point not too long ago when I really started to believe that teaching was not for me. I had a particularly difficult (understatement) class, and I left every day feeling drained physically and emotionally.
I could share so much more but ya know, privacy reasons, so we will just say it was really bad.
It was like everything I had worked so hard for meant nothing anymore. I had worked so hard to become a teacher, and yet here I was feeling like I had made the worst decision of my life.
Somewhere along the way, I lost the passion I had for what I was doing. I became exhausted from the actions of others, and discouraged by their unkind words. I had come to forget that I had asked for this. I may not have asked for the bad stuff, but I have come to realize there can be no good without also experiencing the bad.
My heart was strained and I was not sure what I was going to do.
Then, I sat down in the silence of my classroom one day after school and remembered all of the times I had spent in a college classroom dreaming of being in the same position I was in at the moment. I longed to be a teacher.
UCF was wonderful to me, and really prepared me to be an incredible teacher. They required us to do a ton of hours in real schools working with real teachers and students. I did observation and volunteering hours in over 6 schools in three different counties in Florida. I loved being with the students, but I also could not wait to no longer “volunteer” in other teachers classrooms and actually get paid to do this.
I could not wait to no longer be under the authority of a supervising teacher and get to do what I wanted to do with my own students.
& in 2014, I was granted that wish.
I was able to work with students of all walks of life, and being at a Title 1 school, I really was able to work with students who needed love more than just an education.
It has been hard and wonderful all at the same time. & when I was going through that difficult year with that specific class, it was extra difficult.
But I am a better, and stronger person and teacher today because of the tough times.
I believe God sometimes brings us through rough waters to show us how much power and strength He has given us to overcome anything.
If you are a tired, worn out, exhausted, defeated teacher today: know that you are not alone.
You are deeply loved.
You are needed.
You are God’s gift to the world.
No matter how many “I hate yous”, curse words, rude remarks, physical acts of violence, and threats have been thrown at you today; please remember that hurt people, hurt people. The people who hurt us the most are the hardest to love, but they need our love more than anyone.
I hope you find the strength to continue to use the beautiful gift of teaching that you have been given even in the hardest of times.
It is worth more than GOLD.