My journey with Jesus Christ has been the absolute craziest, weirdest, most amazing thing ever. I often think a lot of people believe I make this stuff up, because it is just downright outrageous.
How could it be that this King of Kings, this Lord of Lords, this Lord God Almighty want to deal with me and my crazy emotions? It is pretty unbelievable stuff. But the best part is that this is no fairy tale, this is real. I know because I am living it.
I once came to a point where I no longer wanted to live. And if you have never been there, it is incredibly hard to describe how desolate and lonely that place is. You don’t want to talk about it. You don’t want to be judged. But at the same time, you just don’t care. You would rather leave this world than deal with the pain it has caused you. You become numb and you don’t know how to fix it.
Nothing makes you happy. There is no joy. Only pain.
I used to cry as soon as I would get in the car. And then I would scream into my pillow at night until I couldn’t anymore. I felt like the world’s biggest failure. I did not feel wanted nor loved. & my heart aches for you if you can relate.
Jesus Christ had been quietly pursuing me all of my life. I just had not wanted anything to do with Him for about 22 years. I wanted to be considered a Christian when it was convenient for me. When it made me seem like part of the group. But I didn’t know him.
Until one day He literally reached down from Heaven and said “I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE FOR YOU. AND I ALWAYS WILL BE.” Then it all made sense. The reason why I was still breathing. The reason why I had been given small whooshes of peace in the midst of my depression. The reason why things would never be the same.
He has saved me from the lies of the Devil.
He has saved me from being a total slave to the fear of my fate.
He has saved me from myself.
Whatever ails you today, I pray that you open your heart and mind up to the fact that there is a God who loves and cherishes the ugliest and most beautiful parts of you.
You just have to be willing to listen for His voice.