Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
It’s been a hell of a week, and its not over yet.
I have spent much time crying, stressing, and losing sleep. I have spent so much time on my knees in deep, extreme prayer, and struggling with pain. I have been broken, and honestly, I feel ashamed. I talk of how to trust in the Lord, but I have not been trusting him lately.
My dog is incredibly sick. My mom rushed him to the emergency vet at 1 am on Monday morning. If she had not, he would have died. He had something called “Bloat” (the same thing the dog had in Marley & Me) and had to have emergency surgery. PRAISE GOD that he survived the surgery. He is definitely not out of the woods though. He had to have a blood tranfusion Tuesday morning, and my family and I went to the vet on Tuesday prepared to put him to sleep. The vet urged us to give him some time, because he had slightly improved. Words cannot express how heartbreaking it was to see him there, so sick and weak, in a cage with a bunch of tubes coming out of him. We went back to see him Wednesday and he seemed slightly better, but he is still too weak to get up. I am struggling to sleep thinking about him being there instead of home, but I know that he is safer there. I beg you to please pray for him.
On top of that, there is a massive, Category 4 hurricane right off of our coast. Hurricane Matthew is about to barrel down on us and cause catastrophic conditions for where I live in south Florida. I decided to leave my apartment because I was afraid of flooding in the parking lot, and we do not have shutters put up. I live on the third floor, and our windows are supposedly “hurricane proof”, but I did not want to have to deal with being able to look out at this horrifying storm. I even packed most everything I have in my closet/bathroom just in case.
Meanwhile, I am currently at my mom’s house across town with the windows boarded up. We’re praying for safety and for our home to hold up in this storm. Luckily, we just got a lot of the bad spots of our roof fixed a few months ago so we are feeling a little better about that.
It gives me flashbacks to 2004, when we were hit by TWO major hurricanes in a row. Our roof was torn apart, our house flooded, we lost power for 12 days, we took showers outside with the hose, it was freaking awful. Hurricanes are serious business, and should not be taken lightly; but I wish I was trusting in the Lord about it more than I am.
I know he is always good, but why do I want so badly to be in control? We can prepare and do everything to keep safe, but ultimately, HE is in control always. No matter what happens, God is in control.
I ask you to pray for many things today. Please pray for my dog, Beck, to make a full recovery in the animal hospital. Please pray for everyone affected by this storm, and their homes/property. Please pray for me to start trusting in the Lord more, because I am exhausted from worry.
UPDATE: Unfortunately Beck passed away at the vet as I was writing this post. Pray for my family please.