Out of the Woods.

“. . .he Himself has shared fully in all our experience of temptation, except that He never sinned.” -Hebrews 4:15

There are so many highs and lows in life that sometimes it is difficult to keep up. We feel as if we’re doing alright one day and then the next day our world is flipped upside down. 

We are constantly looking for some solid ground to put our feet on, but we know that in the back of our mind that this actual place just doesn’t exist.

So how do we find peace in the unknown? How can we keep calm when the waves of uncertainty continue to roll in?

One word: Jesus.

Did you know that in his short time here on earth that He experienced the same emotions that we do? Grief, pain, joy, exhaustion. He knows it all and is able to sympathize with us because of it.

Max Lucado’s book, In the Eye of the Storm, gave me a lot of insight into this. 

We may not have an actual place to plant our feet on in order to find some stability, but luckily we do have a person we can place our faith in to get the same effect. 

Jesus will never leave or forsake us and He loves us even when we’re pretty unlovable. He is the rock on which we can stand and our Hope for everything.

He gets us.

If you’re in need of some stability and peace, look no further than the Man with the Scars.

-Kristin-

The Journey.

“For God so loved the world that he sent His only Son. That whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16


I wasn’t saved by Grace until I was 22.

Up until that time I was an atheist.

 I didn’t believe in a thing, I just didn’t openly act like I did. I lied a lot. I told people I believed in the god they wanted me to believe in because it just made things easier. 

I went to religious events because I wanted to fit in. I didn’t show who I truly was because I didn’t want to deal with the judgment that people put upon those who call themselves total non believers.

But the One, True God of the Universe had other plans for my life.

He wove His way into my life when I needed Him most.

He showed Himself and spoke to me when He knew I was finally ready to hear it.

He turned this liar who called themself a Christian, untruthfully, into a true believer.

This didn’t happen overnight. It occurred over months and honestly, I have a feeling it had been happening ever since my birth, but I only became open enough to see it as an adult. 

It’s been a wild journey with ups and downs. It has included many times of shaking faith, and many times where God literally sends me signs to remind me of His deep love for me. 

If you’re feeling that tug on your heartstrings from an unknown source, choose to open your heart and mind up to it. He pursues us because He LOVES us, but only we can choose to turn around and allow Him into our lives. 

Don’t wait for your journey like I did, start now!

-Kristin

When September Ends.

“But you, Lord, are a compassionate and generous God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”-Psalm 86:15

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I’ve been absent from the blog for about two weeks. Mainly because life has been crazy and I didn’t know how to explain it in words.

From a hurricane, to a water heater leak (mold=yuck), to people being horrible, to friends experiencing extreme loss, to so many other things I don’t wish to even think about. It’s been a difficult month. The worst part was last week when my dog had to have emergency surgery.

He’s okay and is recovering now (which has been in of itself harder than I ever thought it’d be). But this month has changed who I am as a person.

The events have pushed me to painful places that I wish to never visit again. Places where I found myself feeling as if I were drowning and was afraid that God would not show up in time to save me.

But every single time, when I was at the very end of my rope and no longer could go on any further, He made himself known. He picked me up and made me stronger than I ever felt possible.

It’s an insane feeling of peace that is hard to explain, but it exists. I know because I have lived it in some of the deepest, darkest moments of life.

September. You were meant to destroy me. To pull me away from God and isolate me until I could take it no longer and broke.

But thankfully, love is stronger than hate. God can pull us out of your most desolate of places and remind us where we truly belong and who we truly are despite our circumstances.

I’m thankful for the God who directs the winds and waves but still cares about a heart like mine.

-Kristin

Gives and Takes.

“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”-Psalm 37:4


I still remember what it felt like to walk into the house of my dreams.

The realtor took me to look at it and not even 2 minutes into the tour I told him I wanted to put an offer in for it right then and there. It was a hot market and homes were going fast. 

It had everything: great floorplan, two car garage, new roof, new air conditioning unit, big fenced in backyard, no one to the right or behind and a pond across the street. Seriously this place was my dream. 

We heard the next day that they took someone else’s offer and just like that my dream house was gone. I remember feeling crushed. Buying a house in this market is rough!

But life went on.

I looked at other homes which did not pan out.

Then I saw…the one. One I’d never have pictured myself in. The smallest (and cheapest) one I’d seen with the most breathtaking backyard. The one sold by Jesus loving people who made the home feel full of Jesus’ love. 

I met the one because I lost what I thought had been “the one”.

My life is richer and more full because of this little brick I now own. It wasn’t my dream house but it’s more than I ever could have asked for, it’s my home.

God does not give us want we want. He gives us exactly what we need.

I drive by that former dream house often and I know longer feel sadness but thankfulness.

Thank you to the God who lovingly gives and takes away.

-Kristin

The Mighty Hand.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”-1 Peter 5:6-7

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Forth As Gold is based in south Florida.

As one of the most powerful storms ever recorded in the Atlantic heads straight for our state, I cannot help but think back to 2004 when two other major hurricanes hit us dead on.  Hurricane Frances rocked our world and then as we were still trying to recover, Hurricane Jeanne did a loopty-loop out in the ocean and came straight for us again.

I remember so much about that time.  I remember coming home (we stayed at a friend’s house in town during the first storm) and seeing our house look like a tornado had hit it.  I remember my mother groaning as she walked into the house and we could smell and feel the water that had flooded in.  I remember how hot and sticky it was because we were out of power for two weeks (which I am pretty sure is a small inkling of how hell would be).  I remember having to shower with the hose and when we got a generator finally and almost cried tears of joy. I remember eating MRE’s and being on a city curfew.  I remember being out of school for almost a month and just feeling like I had lost a part of who I was.  I remember living on concrete floors until Christmas Eve that year and feeling having blue tarps on our roof until I don’t even remember when. I remember my parents saying how lucky we were that we were alive and still had a shell of a home to live in.

I remember, more than anything, the sound a hurricane makes when it comes through. The best way to describe it is a train going at full speed right in front of your face and it does not slow down for a very long time.

So, when I think about yet another hurricane coming, especially this one , I would be lying if I said I was not afraid.  Thinking back to 2004 gives me chills. This current storm is 2 times stronger and bigger than those and at this point it has been moving so much between the west and east coasts of Florida that they still cannot truly nail down a landfall point yet and that is scary. Even if it does not hit where we are, someone else will and it will be catastrophic.  Even those who do not get the straight on him will feel it immensely and that is scary too.

The Caribbean Islands have been destroyed by this monster already and have left many homeless and the others dead.

So where is God in all of this. 

Where was he is 2004? Where was he in Houston this year? Where is he now?

He’s here.

There is sin in this world. The wicked one is constantly trying to make us believe that God does not love us and does not care for us, but that is about as far from the truth as one could imagine. He loves us and He is here even when it seems like He isn’t.

When I feel overwhelmed (like right now), I watch this video on repeat and it encourages me and reminds me that God is sovereign even on the worst days.

I pray that wherever you are, if you are in Florida or the Caribbean or Texas or Mexico or anywhere in the world that you will never forget that ever-present, never-changing love that God has for you even in the most horrific of circumstances.

The mighty hand of God and His love for us is stronger than anything else in the universe.

-Kristin

Atheist.

“For indeed we have had good news preached to us, just as they also; but the word they heard did not profit them, because it was not united by faith in those who heard.”-Hebrews 4:2


I am a former atheist. 

I have it written on my Instagram bio and many people have asked me about it.

I think they ask because it’s weird to have someone who does not believe in anything to suddenly believe in God and live for Him like crazy. It’s even weirder because I have faked being a believer most of my life. 

My parents baptized me a young age in the Christian faith. They taught me to pray before I ate and before I went to bed at night. I went to youth groups and sang worship songs to try and fit in.

But that was all a lie. I didn’t believe in any of it. Praying to God I didn’t believe existed…silly right?

I didn’t believe anything existed beyond this world. I knew that if there was anything out there who loved me like people said that God did then the world wouldn’t be this bad. I wouldn’t feel such huge pain. 

But.

I. Was. Wrong.

There is a God. A true, one, Living God of the universe who loves me more than words can say. 

I was wrong, but I don’t feel annoyance toward those who haven’t seen what I have seen and still feel the way I did before. 

I think atheists get a bad rap. That they’re mean people who have negative outlooks on life and live sad, empty lives. But that’s not true either.

Atheists (and Christians too) come in all shapes, sizes, and have different opinions. 

More importantly, God loves atheists as much as He loves those who love Him back. 

& if we are thinking any differently…we need to get some prayer time in. 

Love God, love others. The end.

Former Atheist,

-Kristin-

George.

“This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”-Psalm 18:30

Photo by SJ Photography


My mom is obsessed with this old movie from the 40s called “Its A Wonderful Life.” She watches it a lot during the month of December and cries.  

The main character falls on really hard times and gets to a point where he is ready to end his life. 

Until his guardian angel steps in. The man says everyone would be better off without him. So his guardian angel takes him back through his life and shows him the huge negative impact there would have been if he had never been born. 

In the end, he chooses life and realizes that even though we will have troubles, it is still truly a wonderful life.

Sometimes, it is hard to remember that life is beautiful.

We get tangled in a web of lies that tell us we are unworthy. That remind us of the problems we cause. That make us feel that life isn’t worth living.

But it is yall.

Life is beautiful and wild and crazy and worth it.

God put us here for an incredible reason even when it doesn’t feel like it.

When you feel like George Bailey, remind yourself of to whom you belong. God makes no mistakes!

-Kristin-

Just a Blog.

“Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.” – Psalm 96: 2-3

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When I began this blog, that is all I ever expected it to be. Just a blog.

Though, it is not just a blog. Forth As Gold has been the vessel through which I have been able to share my faith, and allowed others to share in that as well. It has changed people. It has changed me. It has strengthened bonds, and broken some. It has been so much more than I ever planned it to be.

 

Because God has taken every piece of me and put it into words to share the story of His endless love for all of us.

 

Forth As Gold was created to share my profound love for a God who literally came to me on a highway to prove His existence and deep love for me.

 

It would mean I would have to be totally transparent. I would have to be honest. I would have to be open and vulnerable. I would have to tell it all. To open my closet of hidden sins to the world.

 

It has been so damn hard.

 

I cannot begin to explain the negativity and cruelty I have received about this over the year since Forth was created. >>>>>>>

 

I cannot begin to explain the joy and thankfulness I have received about this over the year since Forth was created. <<<<<<<

 

It’s a constant seesaw of emotions and sometimes it hurts. It hurts when people use your sins to make you feel unworthy of God’s love. It also hurts so good when you get to watch others get a taste of who Jesus is because of your boldness to speak.

 

When it becomes hard to speak out, I have to remind myself of the whole reason I do this to begin with.

 

22 year old me was on a path of destruction. She was angry, hurt, and lost. She didn’t think she had the strength to finish college. She couldn’t make it through the night without screaming into her pillow and sobbing until she was too weak to stay awake. She was depressed and broken.

 

The only thing that kept her alive was a tiny voice that she had never heard before. But during this time, it visited her often. It repeatedly said “it’s going to be okay” and sent whooshes of relief down her whole being. She didn’t know what it was but welcomed the moments of calm.

 

She found out whose voice that was on the day that Jesus Christ literally lit up her car driving down I95 and that tiny voice became a big one that said “I’ve always been here for you and I always will be.” It was Him. It’s always been Him. Life was never the same after that.

 

Ever since then, all I have wanted to do is share my incredible story of amazing love that overcomes all. Because you see, it’s not just my story. It is all of ours. He died on a cross to save ALL of us, and for that I am eternally grateful.

 

Thank you God that you believed in me even when I couldn’t believe in myself. Thank you for loving me even when I am hard to love. & thank you for turning Forth As Gold into something more than I ever could imagine.

 

Happy first birthday, Forth.

 

-Kristin

The Devil’s Doing.

” ‘For I know the plans I have for YOU,’ declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’ ” -Jeremiah 29:11

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Being told that you are a piece of crap really can make you feel like a piece of crap, you know?

I remember being with someone who told me that he did not like that I did not pray aloud.  That I did not serve in the church. That I did not run around like a chicken with my head cut off doing Bible studies and volunteering for the church. He was disappointed that I did not openly share and show my faith.

& it killed me. What killed me even more was knowing that later on, I had done the same thing to others.

When you are new into loving Jesus and learning about Him, you usually do not jump right into praying over people. Serving in church is awesome, but it is not required. It also certainly is not necessary to keep yourself busy running/attending a bunch of different Bible studies.

So to be told that you are not good enough as soon as you are interested in just who Jesus is and His abounding love for us, well it just plan sucks. It makes you feel crappy and unworthy.

Which is so incredibly far from the truth of Christ is. We are unworthy, yet He loves us so much despite it all.

To Him, we are so, so, so worthy.

It took me some time to realize that the person’s words were not God’s words. God allowed me to grow in my own time. He showed me how to love deeper and be brave.

Words that say you are not enough are not words from God.

Whether you are brand new, and not really sure what is going on (been there) or are deep into your relationship with Christ but just have kind of lost yourself and your purpose for a while (definitely been there), remember that you are not expected to have it all together. It is okay.

God does not rush us to do things we are not ready for. If anything, it is honestly the devil’s doing if we feel we are being pushed too much, too soon. He knows we will rush into something for God, not be ready, hate it, and resent Him.

Follow your heart. Even if others cannot understand and try to make you feel awful.  Our journeys may be different but He loves us all the same no matter where we may be in our faith. ❤

-Kristin

 

2 AM.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”-Isaiah 40:31


I wish I could tell you that I’m great with relationships.

But that would be a lie.

I have chosen to put myself in some horrific situations. Situations I would never wish anyone to be in. I did this all because I desperately sought out love (and I still do).

I remember laying in a bed at 2 am with a person laying beside me who I had come to despise. 

& all I could think is how could this be it? How has my life become this? Why have I chosen to let this relationship ruin my life? 

So the next morning I ended it. I was free. It hurt and felt amazing all at the same time.

I’d also like to tell you that it was the last time I put myself in a bad situation…

But that’d be a lie.

Most of my life has been that way. Broken relationship after broken relationship. Relationships that I chose. 

I did not find the man of my dreams in high school. I did not find him in college. I didn’t find him right out college. I didn’t find him at church. I didn’t find him organically. 

I have not settled down and gotten married and had kids yet. 

I chose a different (dare I say, more crazy) route.

& THAT IS OKAY. 

Because Jesus.

He loves me despite my horrible choices. He picks me up and dusts me off every time I falter. He reminds me that the only relationship that will ever define me is the one I have with Him.

For someone who once laid awake in that bed at 2 am, this statement changes everything. 

The past has no control over me, because I am too busy thinking about my future. 

The Healer of all has chosen to have a relationship with me. One that will never leave me heartbroken. 

Thank you God for loving this incredible mess of a person I am and giving me more chances than I deserve.

-Kristin-